Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
