We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i was born a porn star she said
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Randomize