I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
operation harelip BJ is a go
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
party gras won. party gras always wins.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
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