Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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