Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
