so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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