He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Randomize
