nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
