Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
