he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
