Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
