it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
