if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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