i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Randomize
