Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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