Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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