He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
false alarm. still invincible.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
