i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize