you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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