i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
