absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Randomize
