How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
