i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
