I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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