Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
