Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
