discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
