is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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