I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
