Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
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