So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
