I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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