Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
