1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
