IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize