hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
