I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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