We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Randomize
