Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
