Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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