what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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