idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
That's intense
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
