Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize