So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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