No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
