I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
