Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
operation harelip BJ is a go
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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