The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize