Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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