you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize