I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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