shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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