Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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