At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
