my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Randomize
