Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
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