I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
