3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Randomize
