So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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