What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
you never un-have a 4some
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
