Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
im six kinds of drunk right now
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
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