I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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