i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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