I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Randomize
