another moral hangover. fuck.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
