also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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