She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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