can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
she peed on how many people?
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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