absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
