I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
