smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Randomize
